So Not Jealous
by justwriteandwriteandwrite
Summary: swearing, femslash fantasy, implied Seddie, one-sided Cam. and what's this? Cibby? Carly's side of the story. She's SO not jealous.
1. Chapter 1

-So Not Jealous-

-Carly-

You can totally see my best friends making out right now, underneath a huge umbrella.

We just happen to be at the beach and it just happens to be the first day of Summer Vacation. We're all here in Miami, Florida. I desperately need a tan and so does Sam. I don't tell her that though. Despite this, she is fucking gorgeous. I'd kill to have her figure, longish legs and golden waterfall of curls you may call hair.

I love her. Which may come as a shock to you real people out there, but that's life, isn't it.

Freddie does too. That's cute and all, but how long do you think their "love/hate" thing is going to last? A year at best? Yeah, that's my hypothesis and I'm no scientist either.

Oh, where are my manners?

The name's Carly Shay, I am a co-host for the popular web-show you should have heard of, because we are now clearly a worldwide phenomenon. I mean, duh! . Be there, or be square. It's an awesome site, created by our technical producer, Fredward Benson. My best friend in the whole wide world and secret lover (in my own world) is the one and only Samantha Puckett.

Did I mention she's beautiful? Well, she certainly is.

Some nights, like when she doesn't sleep over, seem long and boring. When she's in my bed, next to me, my imagination just runs wild. I have to control myself. Most of the time, it works. Now though, I'm watching them grind on each other and suck face, like their glued together or like something disgusting.

My heart jumps and twists in the most awkward and uncomfortable way, humanly possible.

The way he's holding her… the way she seems to enjoy it… not at all like the way she kissed me the other night.

Yeah, it happened, alright. Just came out of nowhere, actually. One minute I was minding my own business, when all of a sudden "WHAM!" Well, it didn't sound like that… you know what I mean. Kind of awkward but once we got into the kiss it turned a little steamy and passionate. I was just getting used to the taste of her mouth, when she pushed me away, hastily and apologizing.

Apologizing!

For kissing me!

I remember sinking into my bed, in shame because it seemed as though she hated me or something.

But now, all I can do is sit here, look sexy as hell and try to seduce whatever dumb or obnoxious guy comes my way. I'd rather have Sam though because she beats a billion guys, at best. Freddie's so Goddamn lucky. He gets to help himself, just because he's a stupid boy! I'm a girl, obviously.

I close my eyes and slowly drift away into a fantasy of my own…

* * *

_Lying with her on the beach, you're both watching the sun go down and holding her in your arms. She giggles as you sit up slowly and pull her closer to you. You never want to let go of this girl, or this moment. Though with every look, touch and shiver… you know time is slipping through your fingers. No time to waste…_

_Clothes are coming off and being thrown every which way and you both crash together, in the middle of her bed. You're bed, she decided, is just for sleepovers. This is a more special occasion._

_You tell her she's beautiful, she doesn't comment. She will never be like you, all girly, sweet and innocent, but it's just as well. You love her just the way she is. You just love her. She has heard it from you a lot of times, yet she never reciprocates. Tonight though, it's just you and her facing no fears and dancing to love's rhythm._

_As you tangle together, in amongst the sheets, you both are letting out nervous and giddy bouts of giggles and squeals. Before long, you get over the initial nerves and take her then and there._

_Kissing, biting, licking, sucking… moaning. _

_Never before has she moaned your name with such ecstasy. The sheets and blankets tie up as you both roll around, fighting for who should be sitting on top of the other. She wins. She always wins at everything, and with minimal effort. _

_Her blue eyes meet yours and she's smiling that perfect smile you hardly get to see. You pull the loose curls from her face and lean upwards, meeting her lips with your own. You can never get enough of the taste…_

* * *

Crap! Reality check!

I wipe my mouth quickly and look around to check if anyone saw that I was full-on drooling. My panties feel a little wetter than before too. Damn fantasies about Sam!

Freddie and Sam are still going at it.

I feel my face going red as I stare at them. Really, it's like "get a fucking room!" or not because believe it or not, Sam Puckett belongs to me. She's my best friend, I saw her first. He came way after I met her.

Yeah. She's mine. But I'm so not jealous.

Much.


	2. Chapter 2

So Not Jealous

-Carly-

It's Sunday and Spencer's insisting we go have some Gallini's Pie for breakfast, in our pajamas.

I wanted to invite Sam, but somehow I doubt she'll appreciate it. We're not exactly… on speaking terms right now/anymore. See, we had this huge fight and it went a little something like this.

"He actually really likes me," sighs Sam.

She's never sighed like that before, all happy. I immediately perk up.

"Freddie's a nice guy and all, but I thought w-"

"Carly, that was a mistake."

Mistake… The word still echoes in my head.

"My feelings… how I felt that night… they aren-"

"You don't even know what you're talking about! Shut up."

"But I-"

"Shut the fuck up, I don't want to hear it!"

By this stage, she's covering her ears and I'm yelling to get her to understand. It doesn't go down so well. It'd be better had she actually paid attention and stopped interrupting me every ten seconds.

It's like she was scared or something. Was she scared to tell me how she really felt about me?

"LISTEN, SAMANTHA PUCKETT! THERE IS SOMETHING YOU NEED TO HEA-"

"NO!"

Sam turns on her heel and promptly exits the scene. I'm left standing by myself and feeling upset and a little sorry for myself. I don't cry though.

Cue the hero of the day… not really… Freddie Benson. He just shows up and its bad timing, let me tell you. I wanted to practically strangle the guy.

"How are you going, Carls?"

I scoffed.

Like you actually care about me and how I'm 'going', I thought. Go find Sam and jam your tongue down her throat or wherever it fits. I hope it gets stuck there forever.

I'm pissed off and there's no backing out of it either. I'm usually the sweet girl who can do no evil or wrong. Today, that changed, for obvious reasons of course.

"I saw you and Sam had a little bit of an argument."

A little bit? I could have laughed in his face right then and there. I also could have kicked him in the groin right then and there, as there were absolutely no witnesses.

Outside, I decided to remain calm, cool and collected. Inside, I was a whistling kettle, about to explode because someone didn't turn off the gas stove.

"Yeah, we did."

You know nothing, bitch!

"Want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about really."

Fuck you! Stay out of my personal life and stick to your own.

"Okay, that's cool. I'm here if you need me."

Then he flashes me that heart-warming smile he does so well which works on all girls (including me), but I kick myself mentally. You thought I was bad. He does the 'innocent' thing better than I can.

Freddie exits and then I was alone.

Okay, just to let you know, this wouldn't have happened if Sam hadn't kissed me a couple of nights ago and according to her, it shouldn't have happened at all. Mistake, she says! Mistake! I'll give her a mistake! One she'll never forget!

Spencer's tapping his foot impatiently. That man is clearly the immature one and perhaps I should talk to him about my dilemma about Sam, Freddie and undying feelings for a girl. He'd never understand though.

Actually, I don't think anyone could understand this.

Coming, Spencer! Keep your duck pajama pants on, already! Geez, I can't have a moment to talk about my problems to the readers here? If I wasn't doing that, there'd be no point of this story. So far, it's quite depressing actually.

I still love Sam, a lot. I hate Freddie.

I am so not jealous.


	3. Chapter 3

So Not Jealous

-Carly-

I am so scared right now.

You're probably wondering where I am, and if not, then too bad. I'm about to tell you anyway and shut up and listen. This is the most impossible situation I have ever been involved with.

I am in a closet.

There's a lot going on outside at the moment and here I am, crouched in the corner of a fucking closet.

No literally. Just before, there was a bumping sound against the door, like someone was pounding another person. Ahem. Don't mind me, stuck inside a confined space. Don't mind me, while you grind or hump each other's brains out.

Don't mind me about to freak out, completely. I hate small spaces.

I hate them. Just as much as I hate the fact my two "best friends" could be out there, doing the unspeakable or unthinkable.

That does it!

"Aaarrgghhh!" I scream and burst out of the closet doors, running around like a crazy person.

Spencer stares at me in disbelief.

Wait, Spencer?

I turn to look at the other person, and my mouth drops wide open. It's Sam's mom, and they're partly undressed. I clutch my stomach, and feel very queasy all of a sudden. This is just horrible, this is just awful, this is just…

"Carly, what are you doing in your closet?"

"Excuse me?" I practically screech. "What are you doing, in my bedroom, with my best friend's mother?"

"Uhm… Experimenting?"

He smiles sheepishly, and Mrs Puckett just laughs, whilst clinging her long creepy nails around my brother's arm. I shudder and look between the both of them. If there was a time to be swallowed whole by the floor… this would be it.

This was beyond embarrassment, on so many levels.

I am relieved to be out of my own closet though, even if I'd rather be back in there and not have to see the disgusting 'display' of affection between adults. Just, ew. How can that even be legal?

I exit my own room, and making a promise to come back and disinfect every inch, nook and cranny after Spencer and his "woman friend" had finished.

Again, I shudder.

Before long though, I'm sitting on the couch with a Peppi-Cola and brooding over all my problems, when Gibby Gibson just randomly walks in. He announced that he was there to keep me company, apparently. I didn't really want him to stay, but since he insisted so strongly, I gave up trying to re-convince him otherwise.

"Do you know?"

I waited for a few minutes, because I really thought he would finish that question. He just stared at me, in a creepy kind of way.

Not that anything could creep me out, after what I'd seen already, that morning.

"Gibby,"

"Yeah, Carls?"

"You were asking me a question…"

"Yes."

"But, you didn't finish it."

"I know."

"But-"

The door swings open, and in stumbles a very awkward, giggly and kissy pair. Yes, Sam and Freddie. They were glued together and apparently enjoying every last minute. Gibby and I just stared at their grossness and after they had pulled apart, they acknowledged us with goofy grins.

Sam doesn't grin goofily. Something was going on, and they weren't telling. Best friends tell each other everything.

Freddie is just an idiot.

Gibby turned to look at me and also grinned goofily. I held up a finger and waved it, warningly.

"Don't even."

"Awww."

I cannot believe my life had come to this. I frown and get up, crushing my cola can, which was empty by this time and make my way into the kitchen, trying to avoid everything that was clearly bothering me.

Eating me alive, more like it.

"So, we're dating now."

Like it's some huge news flash, and we don't know about it. I roll my eyes and pick up the dish cloth to start cleaning. I always clean when I'm upset. They know this, but obviously take no notice because they couldn't care less about anything other than them and their "relationship", apparently.

How long is it honestly going to last?

Honestly.

Then Sam just like shoots me this look, like I'm some kind of bitch and goes to make out with Fredward and she's proving some kind of point. He's only too happy to oblige… She's kind of using him, to make me jealous. Which is totally wrong, I guess. Not that I'd tell her that.

That's when I decide, then and there. I am going to kiss her again.

I am so not jealous.


	4. Chapter 4

So Not Jealous

-Carly-

School was just school.

Though there was talk about my so-called 'friends' and how they had magically just started dating.

I suppose that's a perk of being partly famous. Everyone just knows everything about you and won't shut up about it, either.

Yeah, iCarly, our web-show has suffered throughout the summer vacation because of… reasons. But now we're back into reality, which is 'school'. This means, more work and less time for gross romance stuff between those love birds.

Well, Sam hates school and always slacks off.

There's no way a nerd like Freddie could contemplate taking up his "girlfriend's" ways and be good at it. He gets a rash with any lack of homework, for crying out loud!

I'm serious! You should have seen his a-

"Carly get over here!"

It's only Gibby, being a Gibby. He's waving and yelling at the top of his lungs, meanwhile I'm walking over to where he is, demanding what he wanted.

These days, I'm not as sweet as I once was. A broken heart changes you, kind of like Bolivian Bacon.

Gibby's wide eyed and looking scared from my reaction.

I give him a quick hug and try a soft smile. I think it worked because he chuckles and shows me a piece of paper. I'm reading it and when I finish, I look up and the boy has disappeared.

My hands shake and I'm ripping up the paper angrily. I'd tell you what it said, but I'm too fucking mad to even speak, let alone think right now.

Today is the first day I'm skipping school.

Leaving the shreds and remains of the note that Gibby gave me just scattered over the hallway floor, I pick up my bag and make my way through the school grounds and out of there. I can't take anymore.

I'm not going home. I'm still mad at my brother from bringing a witch into our apartment, and without my permission too! Sam's mother! What is life? How did they even meet?

Actually, I really don't want to know.

"Why!"

"Why what?"

"Go away, Gibby."

"Why what?"

"I said-"

Gibby just grabs me and starts kissing me senseless, or at least that's what I think he's trying to do.

Surprisingly, he's kind of a good kisser. Not surprisingly, I pull away in disgust, because… well…

"I'm a lesbian!"

There. I said it. I'm not proud of how it came out, but there's a huge relief washing over me. I can't quite explain how nice it feels.

"Y- What? I… Huh?"

"You know, into girls and not guys."

"Huh?"

He's totally lost, and I have a feeling he's a little disappointed. I guess he was crushing on me but I never took the time to notice. Before now, anyways and… Poor Gibby.

I give him a huge hug and tell him that I'm sorry. Not for being who I am, but for just blurting it out suddenly. I cannot believe that I was so caught up with my own little world and my own problems to be blindsided by-

"Well, this is quite a turn of events."

I just nod at the boy's comment, then let out a small sigh and sit down on the bench. He joins me. At least we still have friendship, right?

His arm slides around me and squeezes my shoulders gently.

A tear slips out of my eye and rolls down my cheek. Gibby quickly wipes it away.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head slowly. No, not yet. But I will someday. It's still too painful to even watch or to even hear about from miscellaneous school students. I'm not ready to talk about all of it, not even close.

"You love someone who doesn't love you back and living with that, really bites."

My mouth immediately drops open, but he shrugs like it's no big deal. A slight pang of guilt stabs through my heart.

I'm putting my friend through the exact same predicament as I'm in which isn't fair to him.

"Gibby-"

"It's okay, buttercup. It's all okay."

Deep down, I know it is definitely not okay. Gibby loves me. More than that, he wants to 'be' with me till the end of time!

He probably had it all mapped out. Five years of good solid dating, I'd move in with him because we'd have our own apartment, a standard proposal, the wedding, some kids, growing older together and before you know it… we're into the golden years and celebrating everything together…

Wait.

You think…?

No, no, no, no!

I'm not even considering it! Just the very idea of Gibby and I… both together, living a happy, harmonious life, sipping tea on the front porch, watching our grandchildren is absolutely ludicrous!

No! You're wrong!

How could you even be thinking that?

Gibby and I…

As he's walking away, with a slight slump on his shoulders, I wonder what things would have been like had I kept kissing him, instead of pushing him away… I just sigh and decide to go for a walk, away from the real world. Reality is just so totally overrated.

Don't you think?


	5. Chapter 5

So Not Jealous

-Carly-

Reality is definitely overrated.

So I'm walking through the park, as I quite often do, to think about things. I don't expect the unexpected, because really, who actually does that? You know, going around thinking: 'Today is the day it's raining caramel coated popcorn' or 'Today is the day I find buried treasure' or 'I'm going to find my true love, standing on a bridge in the exact same park as me'. Damn impossible.

Or was it?

I found Sam Puckett standing on the little bridge in the park, just staring into the waters below. I wondered if she was considering jumping, or something. I ran over to her and noticed her wet face.

No words. My fists clenched into balls of fury and I started firing up, getting all angry and stuff.

Why was she crying? Who made her cry?

"Go away."

No chance, girl. I love you and you're going to hear me out, even if it kills me!

"I'm not going anywhere."

Suddenly, she's got my arms around me and sobbing so dramatically, it's not even funny. Okay, maybe it is a little amusing. But the girl never does this. There is something completely messed up here.

I pat her back and hold her close to me. She buries her face into my chest, like I'm some hero.

"I'm… s-so sorry."

It's a whisper and it's all broken up from her crying and lack of breath. Now is not the time to say "I told you so", so I don't say anything, just slip my hand into hers and lead her off the bridge and over to a nearby park bench.

I look at her, all messed up, distraught and… just so broken. It's not her style, at all. She looks at me and our eyes meet. I don't question her possibly clouded judgment.

"Kiss me, Carly."

I tilt her head up slightly, and press my lips to hers gently kissing her, slowly building up to a more passionate and heated display of affection. At the back of my mind, I think it's so wrong.

But, like a complete idiot, I ignore my thoughts and focus on the situation at hand.

Her fingers interlock with mine and she's kneeling up, deepening the kiss and at the same time, she's climbing onto my lap. I brush her curls from her face and cup her cheeks, not willing to break it off.

Sam is the one who pulls away, finally. We're red faced and out of breath, almost.

Her eyes go from misty to wide, in less than a millisecond. That is a very quick time, ladies and gentlemen and almost tricky to do. Kudos, to her.

"Oh God. I didn't mea-"

"Sam it's okay."

I go to kiss her again, but she recoils a little too quickly and ends up on the ground. Brushing herself off and standing up, she points at me, accusingly. Oh, I'm the criminal here?

"No! This is… bad! Why didn't you stop me?"

Yeah. You're right. It's my entire fucking fault, despite your begging of me to kiss you.

Her voice is loud, angry and full of bitterness. Immediately I stand up, and throw my hands up, in all hopelessness. How can she be this stupid?

I take a deep breath and scream with as much passion and drama as I can:

"BECAUSE I, CARLY MARIE SHAY, LOVE YOU, SAMANTHA JOY PUCKETT."

There's a pause. It's kind of awkward, since there are people around us, kind of staring.

Her voice is quiet.

"You… what?"

Close to tears, was I. But not crying in the least, just really, really upset. Per usual.

"I love you. The sooner you realize that the biggest mistake you made was to date Freddie Benson, the better we all will be. I'm not saying that just to be a bitch."

Actually, I sort of was.

Sam is just staring at me, speechless from it all.

I sigh and turn on my heel, knowing that this was all too good to be true. It was a fantasy, a dream and just plain stupid of me to think it could be otherwise.

With a heavy heart, I walk away from my best friend. The girl whom I will never stop being in love with and the girl…

…who will never _ever _love me.


	6. Chapter 6

So Not Jealous

-Carly-

The world had literally stopped, but I knew I couldn't just freeze with it. I kept going.

"Carly! Carly! Oh my God, woman, will you stop!"

I walked faster and the last thing I wanted to do was slow down, stop and chat to the one guy who suddenly had a crush on me, or was in love with me. Yes, it was in fact, Gibby Gibson.

Ah, screw it.

"What the fuck do you want? Can't you see I'm trying to escape here?"

I was angry, and I didn't hold back all the frustrations I had been going through within the past month and a half. I felt like literally punching his stupid face or at least Freddie's stupid face. He wasn't here though, so the nearest boy would have to do.

But after seeing him and how scared he looked right then and there, I wish I could have taken it all back.

I bite my lip and immediately start to tear up. Turning away quickly and wiping my eyes, I hope the boy doesn't see. Once again, reality bites you in the butt. Or, it bit me in the butt.

"I saw what happened back there. You and Sam."

His hand wraps around my arm, and pulls me closer to him. Then without any other words, he hugs me tightly. I start to melt, crumble or whatever you'd like to call it.

Within seconds, I was a mess. It all comes crashing down at once.

I cry for me. I cry for Sam. I cry for Gibby. I cry for Freddie. I cry for anyone in the world who has ever been through what I'm going through.

It sucks. Like really.

"I-I really d-d-didn't expect-"

"Shh. It's alright."

I don't say anything and I don't do anything. Just stand there and cry silently. I want to hug him and I kind of feel a strange urge to kiss him. That's just so weird.

"I c-can't…"

My legs start shaking and suddenly I can't stand up on my own. They give way and my fingers clutch onto Gibby's shoulders. He steadies me carefully.

"Whoa. You alright?"

"I n-need to… g-go."

"Go where?"

Letting go of him, I stumble and land on the ground. He doesn't even try to catch me. Perhaps he's given up on me already.

"Please," I whisper, as I look down at the dirt I'm sitting in. "Don't leave me."

What I meant to say was "don't leave me like Sam has done". But that would've made me feel even more pathetic than I already was. It was great to have a person who was willing to stick around no matter what.

I really thought that's what Sam was for, but obviously I was wrong.

"Why would you even suggest that? I'm not going anywhere while you're upset. I hate to see you sad."

I didn't know what else to say.

Here I am chasing after a girl who'll never love me, like a practical slap in the face and ignoring the sweet, charming Gibby right there in front of me, where he's always been. Just watching and waiting from the sidelines, patiently.

When the time came to pounce, I might as well have kicked him in the groin. Would have been a lot less painful, I suspect. Then again, I'm a girl, so what do I know about that stuff?

I don't love him the way he loves me though. That's the thing. He's nice, polite, charming and a little crazy at times… but oh, he makes me laugh, like no one else does. Sometimes it's all you need to turn a frown upside down. I could do with a decent laugh now.

But it's not happening.

We're just standing opposite one another and staring solemnly at each other, like it's going to help.

It didn't help at all.

"Hey, how's about we go get some smoothies. That always cheers me up."

Great idea, Gib, great idea.

Both of us walked out of the park, leaving behind all the bad stuff that had just happened, my head starts to clear up slightly. It was so cluttered before, but now it's almost back to normal, whatever normal means.

The Groovy Smoothie is empty, because everyone who usually comes here is at school or work. Figures.

I sit down and so does Gibby. T-Bo, the crazy smoothie store owner comes up to us and demands we buy a "couples" smoothie or something. We both shake our heads quickly and deny what he's saying.

"You guys are full of chiz, I know y'all are ending up married."

Married? Is this guy seriously stupid, or just on crack?

"We're just friends."

"A likely story, Shay. What else you got? Does this mean that Sam is dating Freddie now?"

That hurt. I don't respond, but fuck, it got me right in the heart. Like, just take a knife and stab my chest a billion times with it, why don't you. T-Bo has always been an idiot.

Gibby immediately waves him off and hugs me again.

"T-Bo's just teasing. You know how he is."

Yeah. That's the thing though. It's too soon to be teased about something that's clearly cutting me up inside. Gibby's smart enough to know that. T-Bo didn't know any better, though. So I can't really stay mad at him.

He's bringing out his infamous artichokes, on a stick.

Gibby buys one and places it in front of me.

"I think you're like this artichoke."

I stare at it and wonder where he's going with this. So I'm green, ugly and round. Fabulous.

"You're a little tough or 'spiky' on the outside, but a soft heart underneath."

No, don't go 'awwww'. That's not cute at all! Like, what the fuck is that meant to mean? I'm not tough and I'm not fucking spiky! Yes, I have a huge heart and I try my very best to like everyone.

Sometimes, it's hard to do.

Anyways, I just smile politely and keep staring at the vegetable before me.

Fancy comparing any girl to the most disgusting, ugly looking vegetable on the face of the planet like, what is that all about? I know he's infatuated with me, but God. That is just a fail!

Well… I guess he didn't ask for a potato or broccoli…

No! Carly Shay, you have been crying for too long. You're a mess, get it together and quit thinking that this is all okay. You and Gibby Gibson will _never _be 'coupled up', or romantically linked in _any _way.

Never is a strong word.

Denial is not just a river in Egypt.

Shut. Up!


	7. Chapter 7

So Not Jealous

-Carly-

Hey, guess what?

I spent the rest of the week, ignoring Sam and Freddie and just talking to Gibby. He's actually not so bad! Also, my head hasn't exploded, which is always a good sign, to say the least.

At first, it was very nearly impossible.

But by Friday, Gibby and I were almost holding hands while walking down the corridor. I did say almost.

"Hey Carls, you're coming over tonight for dinner right?"

"Oh, Spencer's going out tonight, my place will be empty… why don't you come over to mine instead?"

"Excellent! I'll bring the chocolate pudding-"

"And the liquid soap!"

We both say simultaneously, like those lame comedians do, all out of time. Then we high-five like we're still seven and not in high-school. People around us look weirdly but carry on with their lives like everything's normal.

What is normal? Seriously, I want to know.

After school, I'm waiting for Gibby out the front, and that's when I see it. 'It' is as in Sam and Freddie making out in public.

Usually, that wouldn't bother me. Today, for some odd reason it does. Perhaps because they're just doing it to piss me off and draw crowds around them. What the fuck? Like we don't have enough of your disgusting spit-swapping sessions!

Students are cheering and wolf-whistling like animals. The boys are chanting some vulgar words and the girls are just squealing. Not sure what's worse.

Gibby runs over to me, and tugs on my hand.

"C'mon, let's go."

"Okay."

Even as we walk out of the school grounds, I hear the distant sound of laughing and screaming and carrying on. I shake my head but no matter how hard I try the image still sticks.

I arrive home and tell Gibby to make himself at home.

I go to grab some snack foods and turn on some music. Cause, you know, who doesn't love some music to settle the mood.

The boy is sitting on the couch, but he looks quite relaxed. He's been here a million times of course, but this time… it feels different. I bring over the tray of fruit and assorted healthy snacks. Yes, health comes first, kids. Remember that! And then I sit down next to him.

Cue the awkward silence, and the sound of some cheesy boy band coming from the radio.

"Thank you for this week, Gib. It means a lot."

"Well, we couldn't have you being all alone in amongst the sharks."

"Huh?"

"You know… school."

"Oh."

I can't help but giggle a little. It may have been a lame attempt at calming the tension and such, but it helped a bit.

My legs curl up under me, as I turn to face him, resting my head on my hand. I smile, and a watch him light up. Maybe he's thinking that it's signal or something. Maybe… I am sending a signal…

Do I really want to take this friendship and stuff it into a bag formerly known as a 'Relationship'?

You too, can go around the school grounds sucking face with the person you love. Apparently, that's the thing nowadays. No privacy or secrecy. Nope. Just PDA, Public Disarray of Application. Yeah, I know what it really stands for. But mine is a whole lot better.

He's leaning across me to grab a piece of fruit. I watch curiously as he eats it slowly.

"Nice fruit."

"Yeah. I think Spencer bought it the other day."

Gibby's smiling at me and I'm staring at the fruit tray before us. There's nothing that'll make me look at him. Well, perhaps one little question which is actually a huge, colossal question…

"So, are you really a lesbian?"

My head snaps around to look at him. Where the heck did that come from?

Oh, I remember now. I told him.

"Actually. I don't even know. I thought I was in love with my "best friend" but after seeing her and Freddie all together, those feelings aren't so…"

I trail off at the end, because I don't really know what I'm trying to tell him here. I love Gibby? Yes, but as a good friend. A really good friend who has a good qualities and-

Oh God! He's going to kiss me again!

Arghhhh!

Okay, breathe Shay! Just stay calm and fucking breathe already… I can't. I'm holding my breath, like a loser.

He brushed some strands of hair out of my face, cupped my cheeks and pressed his mouth on mine very gently. Not like the in school kiss, which almost could have broken my front teeth. This one was nice, held back a lot but nice.

No sparks or fireworks or… anything spectacular of any kind. But hey, maybe that was only in books.

I slowly kneel up and slide onto Gibby's lap, deepening the kiss ever so slightly. Maybe I liked him a little more than I originally anticipated. Maybe I was wrong all this time. Maybe-

Gibby pulls away slightly.

"So…"

"I hate to say this but… you're a really good kisser."

"Am I? Tasha never agreed on that."

I grin cheekily.

"Tasha's an idiot."

It's true though. She's a complete idiot. She couldn't even spell my name!

He laughs and I get off his lap carefully, asking if he wanted a drink. I grabbed two Wahoo Punch bottles and brought them over to the couch.

This was the beginning, of our relationship that wasn't really a real relationship.

Confusing, right?

Yeah, I thought so.


	8. Chapter 8

So Not Jealous

-Carly-

They were fighting again. Not uncommon of course, because it's Sam and Freddie. The two have never gotten along so amiably. I'm guessing their 'honeymoon phase' is over now, though. Instead of being at each other, sucking face, they're almost at each other's throats, which was just unromantic on so many levels.

Although they fight every other day, today's was out of control. Sam actually kicked Freddie in the groin.

I cheered for a second, but after everyone turned to look at me weirdly, so my cheer turned into an awkward 'ohh, no' instead.

I saw Sam shoot me a very suggestive look which made me shiver. In a good way though.

Later that day, after all the yelling and screaming and the break up… yeah, from that they broke up.

Stupid right?

Well I thought not, because now I'm happy. Sam can be herself and not all lovey-dovey, emotional and stuff. That's not her at all. To cut a long story short, she's coming over tonight, for dinner and I'm not only excited but I'm way nervous. It's just my best friend… whom I love… whom I might possibly be sleeping with… all my fantasies come flooding back at once…

I shake my head and light some candles around the place, make sure the dinner is cooking perfectly and call Spencer to let him know to not come home tonight, until I say it's all okay and safe.

Not that he'd mind, probably.

Two girls going at it, like dogs or animals in heat? Ha! Any man couldn't resist that temptation! Unless they're not interested in the feminine species, then that's another story.

My phone buzzes with a text message. It's from Gibby.

'Up for a midnight swim at my place? –Gibster'

I quickly text back:

'Got a date tonight, remember? With Sam… -Carls'

Response:

'Oh yeah! Good luck! Let me know how it goes! –Gibster'

While I was reading that and smiling like an idiot, at how great Gibby is, I receive another text message from an unknown number, but I know immediately who it's from.

My heart sinks instantly.

'Freddie apologized. We're back together. Do dinner another time? –Sam'

Instantly, my smile went to a frown. How could she do this to me? How? And, why? What did I ever do to her to be ignored and abused and for what, her fucking entertainment?

Fuck that!

I'm done!

I pick up my phone, while switching off the oven, stove and ruining all my plans for the evening. I sent a text to Gibby again because he's my only option right now. I must get new friends. I am pathetic.

'Be around in ten. Don't start without me. –Carls'

I race upstairs and get ready to leave again. Meanwhile, I'm running out the door while Spencer is walking into our apartment.

"Scrap my last phone call, Spencer!" I yell out, while pushing the button urgently. "I'm going to Gibby's house. There's lasagna in the oven. Don't wait up!"

He gave me confused wave which I just caught a glimpse of as the doors closed behind me.

I have a feeling… Tonight's going to be a good night.


End file.
